The Hidden Family Secret

Family is supposed to be a source of strength, guidance, and support. But when the elders in the family lack understanding or empathy, life can get challenging. In most households, they’re the decision-makers, and their choices shape the future. When those decisions go astray, they can affect the entire family in unexpected ways.

Introduction

Hi, my name is Priya, and I’m from a small town called Karnal in Haryana. We’re an upper-middle-class family, comfortable enough to enjoy a few luxuries. My family includes:

– My father, who runs a real estate business.

– My mother, originally from Amritsar, Punjab—a typical Punjabi mom who’s lively, loud, and full of warmth.

– My younger brother, who’s both annoying and lovable.

Growing up in a lively, close-knit family was both fun and chaotic, especially with a mother who could practically be a one-woman loudspeaker. But as I finished my studies and turned 26, my parents began looking for a suitable match for me.

Meeting Harman

After a lot of searching, my parents found a match from Delhi—an upper-middle-class family that seemed like a good fit. I got engaged on July 3, 2023, to Harman Singh, who:

– Works as a senior software developer.

– Is decent, soft-spoken, and a bit shy.

– Always seems to be in formal attire, which amused me at first.

As we started talking more over the phone, I quickly realized he was the best person I could imagine spending my life with as Better Half. Six months later, our wedding day arrived, full of joy, dancing, and laughter.

The First Night Surprise

That night, Harman and I were in our room, feeling a little nervous, surrounded by candles and flowers. We were just starting to get closer when suddenly there was a loud knock on the door. A voice called out, “Priya, Priya, Priya!” It was Harman’s aunt, his bua.

I quickly put on my clothes, opened the door, and there she was with a mischievous smile. She gave me some unsolicited advice on making sure our first night went as it was “supposed to.” She said that Harman, being shy, might need encouragement and that I should take the lead. I was mortified! But I managed an awkward laugh, thanked her, and closed the door.

Back in the room, Harman and I shared a laugh about it. Despite his family’s belief that he was an innocent, shy guy, I quickly found he wasn’t as innocent as they thought.

Settling into Married Life

In the following days, life in my in-laws’ house was filled with joy and activities. Harman’s family and I bonded over games, laughter, and a shared honeymoon trip. When we returned, Harman resumed work, and I took up my role as the new daughter-in-law, making breakfast every morning and packing lunch for him.

Before long, visitors started coming by, each with the same question: “When will we hear the good news?” At first, I laughed it off, but soon, the pressure grew. Relatives, neighbors, and even family friends constantly asked about our plans to start a family.

Eventually, my mother-in-law had a heart-to-heart with me about it. I politely replied, “Soon, mummy ji.” But as months passed, people started dropping hints that I should see a doctor “just in case.” The constant remarks became overwhelming.

— having kids and managing finance for new parent click me to read more about that

The Turning Point

One night, frustrated by the comments, I sat down with Harman and suggested we consider starting a family. To my surprise, he got upset. “Are you serious, Priya?” he asked. “We still have bills from the wedding, and I need to be financially stable before we think about children.” He told me to ignore the relatives and their endless questions.

I was irritated. “That’s easy for you to say,” I replied. “You don’t have to face them every day.” This was the first real argument we had ever had.

The next morning, over breakfast, my mother-in-law raised the topic again, but this time, I stayed silent and let Harman respond. He explained that he wanted to be financially ready. His father intervened, supporting Harman’s decision. He explained that times had changed:

Cost of Living: Everything from raising children to basic living expenses is higher now.

Educational Expenses: In the past, siblings studying in the same school had discounted fees; now, the costs are fixed, with no such caps.

Modern Necessities: Gadgets, extracurricular activities, and educational resources are all costly today.

His father advised us to take our time but not delay too long, sharing a joke that Harman shouldn’t wait until retirement to see his child in 10th grade!

Finding Our Balance

Now, four years later, Harman and I are blessed with a beautiful daughter. We are in a much better place, managing our finances well and embracing parenthood with joy and partnership.

Reflection

Looking back, I realize how crucial it is for family elders to be supportive. A family’s journey can be smoother when they offer guidance instead of pressure, respecting the couple’s readiness for major life decisions. This experience taught me that the head of a family should always provide support, guidance, and understanding in every situation, allowing each generation to make thoughtful choices.